I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
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