im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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