We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
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