I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
