She said her name was "party"
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
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