i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
