I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I need water and some morals
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
