So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
The Olympian is in my bed
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
