I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
