yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
