I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I smell stomach acid.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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