Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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