can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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