whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
