I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
