Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
