You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize