I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
