I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
