but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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