STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
