Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
