both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
