dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
