somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
