there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
So much Jack, so little girl.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
