I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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