I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
