And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
