According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
