I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
