32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
