3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
