The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
