i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Randomize
