Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Randomize
