He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
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