He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
