I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
