Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
