im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
God I need to hump something, right now.
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