i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Randomize
