420 ftw
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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