Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
