is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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