that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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