Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
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