I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
