so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I'm passing your future prison.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
You've changed since you got that strap on
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
