Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
My dad just said "fuck circus"
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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