if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
