i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Randomize
