we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
