dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
