So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
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